Recently, I found myself repeating “we are evolving creatures.” I am sharing these few words with you in celebration of my own Evolution Experience. I hope that you too have noticed your own evolution and growth and are pleased with your own journey.
Those who know me know that I am a spiritual creature. But my quest has not been limited to the answers found “out there”. I have looked for them in my own reality, within, and continue to do so. At some point, I realized that if I wanted it to be successful in my quest the key to this process is that I had to be extremely and brutally honest with myself. I have to admit, that took some doing!
I come from a strong heritage of artists. So, aside from the creativity, I also inherited the very sensitive nature that most creative people possess. When one adds the vulnerabilities and the baggage from growing up as a female in somewhat of a hostile environment for women, you can imagine that I had a chip or two on my shoulder – all the time!
When I look back, I remember how easily I would get offended by a specific statement or behaviors, in the past. Along the way, I also realized that I too was often very judgmental of others. Well! You don’t get apples from orange trees, after all! I grew up in a culture and amongst people who judged each other all the time. I was a product of my culture. We criticize others to make ourselves feel better. I grew up with my own biases, which I learned that is an outcome of fear. I am neither proud of them, nor excusing them. These were facts of my life at that time. The point is that, through my own soul searching, I was able to see the reality for different points of view, and unlearn a lot of the negative thoughts.
Hopefully, in the course of our evolution path, we all learn to stop such destructive behaviors! That is what truly matters.
Many things happened in my life, good and bad, that pushed me forward and helped me to become a better person. I will mention a few of the good ones. For example: when I started doing better academically in a new high school, and begun tutoring fellow classmates, I begun gaining confidence in myself. After I gratudated from high school, I came across a precious book that became a turning point for me. The book was: How to Stop Worrying by Dale Carnegie. In college, I took Kung Fugraduated classes for a few months. This boosted my confidence to levels I never imagined before. After wedding my late husband David, he taught me Transcendental Meditation. That was the single biggest life-changing event in my life! And, about a decade ago, I read The Power or Now by Eckhart Tolle. Another milestone in my life. These are a few highlights. They each came to me after I had gone through a very rough period in my life. So, I have also learned that what we consider as a “bad time” in our lives, could be a great blessing, if we are able the lessons these experiences offer to us.
I feel so blessed that I was granted the knowledge (through so many difference avenues), the strength (through my faith), and the wisdom (with the help of the great people and leaders in my life) to learn from these experiences and to evolve! When I look back at “me” at certain times in my life I don’t like myself very much because I don’t agree with what I had said or thought back then. But that was then. If I misbehave now as I did back then without any efforts to correct my ways, that will be inexcusable. That would mean that I have not learned a single lesson from my life experience. But, if I have changed, then a celebration is in order…not a punishment for the past.
I believe that we are also witnessing an evolution in our collective consciousness in our society. This is so wonderful and a very encouraging evolution…from the much needed “Me Too” and “Black Lives Matter” movements, to the recognition of people with disabilities and their needs…and, so many more! It is extremely unfortunate what pushes us to get on the positive side of evolution. But, as long as we are learning, then we are on the right track. What a blessed time this is!
In the same spirit, I have learned not to judge myself as best as I can. I may not always happy with what I said or did in the past. But I have learned to forgive myself, as long as my behavior was not damaging. This mindset allows me to forgive others for their human errors and mistakes as well. When I hear about someone losing their job because of a single statement they made 20 years ago, regardless of who that person is today…well, that doesn’t seem right to me. I wonder if any of us can ever stand that level of scrutiny. Please be clear that I am not referring to excusing repeated bad behaviors either. I am talking about “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone.”
I am so grateful that I can practice forgiving…of myself first, and the others. Recently, I was reminded again that we are all extensions of the creator, experiencing His/Herself through each of us. When I think of that how can I hate anyone! I feel so empowered to practice love vs. hate, only as a sign of love for my creator. I celebrate the fact that I have come such a long way in my own evolution. I celebrate a caring and just future for all of us! Regardless of how things might look, I celebrate our collective evolution!